


Steamed Buns

by xNekorux



Series: Akalynn One-Shots [4]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - K/DA (League of Legends), F/F, Shoujo-ai, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 18:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20710478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xNekorux/pseuds/xNekorux
Summary: After a nasty argument between Evelynn and Ahri, the FOXY model decides to leave the K/DA penthouse to cool down.A couple of coincidental series of events and a misunderstanding of their heated argument, Akali and Kai'Sa end up assuming that Evelynn had murdered Ahri.An investigation begins and as expected, chaos ensues.





	Steamed Buns

**Steamed Buns**

"_**K.O.!**_"

The fierce freestyler of K/DA released a low sigh of relief when she successfully landed the final hit between her and her online opponent. As much as she wanted to brag about her victory, she couldn't bring herself to do so, for rhe player she fought against was admittedly _this_ close in defeating her in the final round.

"Good game, buddy."

Once she finished commending the opposing player's skills, Akali took off the wireless headset and threw it to the other side of the sofa before getting up and exiting the bedroom.

When she left her quarters and made her way down the hall, the voices of K/DA's fashionable leader and renowned diva became louder and louder with each step their _maknae_ took to get to the end. Little by little, Akali was able to decipher what they were saying to one another.

Or, if she chose to be more accurate, the two artists were actually _yelling_ at each other.

"You couldn't have handle that interviewer in a much professional manner?" Ahri exasperatedly questioned, sounding rather fed up with Evelynn's attitude.

"That man deserved being humiliated." Came Evelynn's nearly snarl-like response.

"You _promised_ that you'd behave during interviews!"

Even though Akali wasn't there, she could already envision the image of Evelynn rolling her eyes at Ahri's statement. After all, that woman always did love being outright sarcastic and rude to those she went up against.

"I promised that I'd behave during interviews _with_ Rogue and Bokkie." Evelynn retorted, seemingly absolutely proud with her response.

"Ugh!" Ahri growled out of complete annoyance. "I don't want to hear and see this type of sarcasm from you right now! I need you take this seriously!"

"How could you even hear me? What, with how loud you're shouting at me, I'm honestly surprised I haven't gone deaf."

"_Evelynn!_"

"If you don't mind, Foxy, I'd very much like to get on with my plans for today." Evelynn said in a dismissive tone.

"Why do you have to be such a bitch all the time?"

A scoff from Evelynn. "Now, now, Ahri, wouldn't want me to use you as a stuffing for the food I intend on making."

Akali heard Ahri give her own scoff. "I hope you choke on your food!"

"Or maybe," Evelynn continued Ahri's threat with her own. "_you'll_ be the one that ends up being choked by something. Hopefully, even, by someone."

The rapper flinched back in reaction, overhearing the entire back-and-forth verbal fight quite clearly. With the tone Evelynn was using, it's no surprise no one was winning between the two. She knew the siren was beyond pissed off, especially with how frighteningly calm and collected the woman was at the moment.

In the midst of retreating back to her room in order to avoid any possible wrath that she might be unfortunate enough to suffer, Akali bumped into Kai'Sa, who, based on the look on her face, had heard the other pair's heated squabble. Although, unlike Akali, the dancer merely heard the muffled version of the argument, which seemed to have continued even when Evelynn tried walking out on the FOXY model.

A loud _SLAM!_ echoed in the penthouse as soon as Ahri angrily carelessly closed the door behind her once she chased after the dismissive diva.

"Wow, they're really going at it, huh?"

"Yeah..." Akali sighed lowly as she rubbed the back of her neck. "Ahri's really pissed off with Eve right now."

"And let me guess, Evie won't back down?"

Akali nodded. "As usual."

Kai'Sa gave Akali a light nudge once they stopped at the doorway of the freestyler's quarters. "Hey, maybe you could ease Eve out later. I'll handle Ahri."

Akali made a face. "Two things, Bokkie. One, Eve either really wants or _hate_ cuddles when she's mad. Two, how am I suppose to do anything with her? She's like, _super_ angry right now."

"Oh come on, Kali. You managed to bring her to bed, didn't you?"

"Technically, _she_ brought me to bed." Akali coolly corrected her fellow K/DA. "There's definitely a huge difference."

"Regardless, you're the only one that can calm Evelynn down with a little kiss."

"Hey, it's not _that_ easy."

"Sure it is."

"Uh, no, it isn't." Akali contradicted. " Last time I used my body to calm her down, I couldn't walk straight for a week. And I'm _athletic_!"

"Well," Kai'Sa cleared her throat, not really wanting to know what Evelynn had done to Akali. "you aren't really straight in the first place anyway."

"Kai'Sa."

"Okay, okay, alright," Kai'Sa immediately surrendered. "Just try to do something, 'kay?"

"But, Kai...-"

"Just _try_."

Akali scratched the back of her head, holding back the urge to groan. "Fine."

**xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx**

With a low growl of frustration, the gaming controller was tossed aside, while the owner of the tech grunted in response to whatever the opposing player said to her through the wireless headset. Like the first piece of technology, the headset was also abandoned on the sofa.

Glancing at the clock and confirming that at least two hours had already passed, Akali left the safety of her bedroom walls yet again. She figured Evelynn had probably cooled down already, so maybe it was time for her to cuddle up with the diva to extinguish any further flame of anger.

Akali has never experienced being snapped at by Evelynn, even when the latter was completely furious. The amber-eyed woman always made sure to never misdirect any anger towards K/DA's _maknae_.

"Hey, Eve?" Akali called out once she was halfway down the staircase. She shortly recalled that Evelynn walked out of the penthouse earlier, and yes, Ahri did trail after her with an intention in continuing the argument, but maybe they were finally back.

"In the kitchen, darling."

Hearing the lightness in Evelynn's voice, Akali was immediately eased. Wave after wave of encouragement washed over her and she was just flat-out thankful for it.

"Yo!" Akali greeted with a small smile, slipping onto one of the four stools at the kitchen island, where the diva placed a tray of freshly-made steamed buns.

"Just in time, Rogue." Evelynn said as she placed the towel she used to hold the tray on the side. "I was just about to call you and Bokkie."

"Ooh, these look delicious, Eve." Akali genuinely complimented, eyeing the food with hunger in her gaze. "Don't bother with Kai by the way. Heard her having a video call with Sivir."

Evelynn chuckled. "Greedy, aren't you?"

Akali flashed a little grin before she took one of the buns and gave it a little squeeze-test. "Whoa, they're really soft."

"Too soft?"

"Nah, they're just right." Akali said before taking a bite, which was then followed by a moan of satisfaction. "They're delicious, Eve!"

Whether it was intentional or not, Akali was certainly succeeding in buttering Evelynn up, which highly increased her chances in smoothly dousing any possible traces of the vocalist's anger. That, and the steamed buns were just _really_ good, especially its tasty suffering.

"Wow, Eve," Akali started once she swallowed her first bite. "the meat is really delicious."

Evelynn hummed. "Well, I _did_ acquire some fresh meat earlier."

"Hmm?" Akali, who was already in the process of taking her third bite, spoke through a mouthful of food. "Fresh meat?"

"Mm-hm. I left earlier and got myself some juicy meat. It served a nice bun stuffing, didn't it?" Evelynn leaned forward and on the island, winking while mischief gleamed bright in her eyes. "

"Umm... What kind of fresh meat are we talking about?"

"_Very_ fresh ones." Evelynn murmured, smiling slyly as she inched closer and placed a kiss on the tip of Akali's nose. "For all you know, darling, the meat I used might be Foxy's."

Akali's eyes widened, the food in her mouth nearly falling out once she reacted with a shocked, "Eh!?"

Evelynn tittered, giving Akali's cheek a kiss this time. "I'm joking, darling. I'm too fabulous to resort in cannibalism."

Despite the little quip of the singer being nothing but an act of jesting, Evelynn's words seemed to echo in Akali's head. She briefly recalled how intense Ahri argued with Evelynn and due to the influence of some of the games she's been playing, Akali couldn't help but let her imagination run wild.

But, it was only for a moment.

Once the mentioned moment passed, Akali managed to offer a quiet and slightly nervous chuckle in return.

"Meet me upstairs after you eat, darling." Evelynn whispered once she inched close to Akali's left ear. "Mommy wants to play."

Akali's previous thoughts about Ahri possibly being butchered by her girlfriend disappeared and shifted to a different and much _dirtier_ concept. One that vastly involved her and Evelynn discarding clothes all over the room.

"Play?"

"Mm-hm." Evelynn hummed, nipping once on Akali's earlobe. "Real badly, honey. Trust me."

Evelynn's eyes flickered over Akali's shoulder and towards Kai'Sa, who seemed to have finished her call with Sivir and was on the way to where they are. Akali was quick to suck in a breath the second she felt the siren's tongue sensually lick up her cheek before planting a quick kiss on her temple.

By the time the vocalist pulled back, Akali's face was as red as an actual tomato.

"Till later, Rogue." Evelynn cooed, giving Akali a flying kiss before strutting out of the kitchen, sweetly smiling and winking at Kai'Sa as she passed the choreographer.

"Well, well, well," Kai'Sa started once she heard Evelynn begin to climb up the stairs, occupying the stool at Akali's left. "looks like Eve is as cool as a sexy cucumber."

"Yeah..." Akali murmured, unable to look at Kai'Sa's direction.

"So, did a kiss do the trick?"

"Not really..."

"Then what did?"

"Let's just say I won't be able to come with you if you want to shop tomorrow."

"Huh...? Oh. _Oh! _You mean...?"

"Yeah, that."

"...Do you prefer crutches or a wheelchair?"

Akali's right eye twitched, while her cheeks became redder and warmer than it already was.

"_Bokkie!_"

**xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx**

_The room she was in was dark and dimly lit only by the illumination pouring out of the doorway of what looked like the kitchen of the penthouse of K/DA. Even though there was this eerie feeling running down her spine, Akali chose to proceed in approaching the origin of the only light in her surroundings._

_"Is... Is anyone there?" Akali called out as she neared the entrance._

_Despite not gaining any forms of reply to her call, Akali braved through the nerves she was feeling and decided to finally see what was inside the kitchen._

_The sight that greeted her was beyond horrifying._

_Hand grasping one knife, said object dripping and coated with burgundy, the crimson red color splattered all over the walls and floor, the view before the rapper was like something straight out of the scariest, most brutal murder film there is._

_Just a couple of steps away from her, Evelynn stood rather menacingly, back facing her and a sharp, blood-drenched knife being wielded with one hand, while the other held what looked like a bleeding heart that no doubt once belonged to an actual human._

_"E-Eve...!?"_

_The second the diva responded to her, Akali found herself regretting in calling her, especially when her frightened azures met a pair of ambers filled with terrifying, murderous insanity mixed with eerie sweetness._

_"Hello, darling." Evelynn greeted, voice hinting a dangerous allure, which was partnered with a bloodied smile that sent a prominent chill down Akali's spine._

_When Evelynn turned to face her completely, Akali's eyes widened even more. Why wouldn't it? After all, Evelynn was presenting a still-beating heart to her, prompting her to inch back little by little._

_Evelynn's smile turned sweeter as she brought the hand holding the heart up to her head level, tongue sticking out to lick at the drops of blood leaking down and over her wrist._

_"Akali," A velvety whisper reached her ears with crystal clarity. "would you kill for me?"_

.....

.....

.....

.....

.....

"Gah!" Akali shot out of her slumber and up to a seated position, rapidly huffing and puffing while sweat ran down her temples.

_'It's just a bad dream... It's _ _ **just** _ _ a fucking dream.'_

"Akali?"

Out of instinctive fear, Akali snapped her gaze to the door of the bathroom at her right with fear visible showing in her blue eyes. She spotted Evelynn hurriedly exiting the mentioned room in nothing but a towel that clearly struggled to give the siren some semblance of decency.

The feeling of fear was dispelled the second she caught sight of the woman she's deeply in love with. The woman that was approaching her at that moment was nothing like the monstrous woman in her nightmare.

"I heard you scream." Evelynn said, perching herself right beside Akali and using her cool, slim hands to wipe the sweat around the freestyler's face.

When Akali's body finally relaxed and she managed to internally calm herself, she succeeded in offering a nod and a lowly-uttered reassurance. As expected, it did not ease the concern dwelling within the magenta-haired artist.

"I'm fine, Eve." Akali spoke in a more moderate volume. "It's just... I had a bad dream. It's nothing."

Evelynn's eyebrows remained knitted together out of worry, which Akali failed in completely vanquishing. "Are you sure?"

Akali nodded. "Yeah, nothing I can't handle."

Regardless of the concern Evelynn still had for Akali, the latter's reassurance ultimately prevailed in the end. The diva nodded, deciding to trust her lover like always.

"Alright, if you say so."

Once Evelynn was sure Akali had calmed down from her high-strung self, the siren chose to tease her as not to not only lighten the mood, but also to give some love and affection to her beloved.

"What?" Akali queried when she noticed the familiar gleam of mischief evidently hinting in Evelynn's eyes.

The vocalist caressed Akali's cheek with her fingers, briefly puckering her lips at the rapper before saying, "I suppose I shouldn't have taken everything out on you last night."

As soon as the singer mentioned their activity the previous evening, Akali felt the soreness in and in between her legs and thighs begin to register in her mind. There was also this mild ache in her arms, neck and shoulders.

Evelynn _did_ go to town with her body yesterday.

More aggressively than the usual.

That, and Akali was a more than little bit sore all over since she was in various _compromising_ positions yesterday, which she honestly didn't think she'd be in initially. Although, judging by the moans and cries of pleasure she gave out last night, she clearly didn't mind it in the first place.

Akali pursed her lips the moment she felt Evelynn nip around her neck and shoulder, the vixen's own soft lips leaving a trail only she knew and memorized.

"I'm sorry, dearest." Evelynn murmured, hands tracing the outline of Akali's shoulders down to the sides of her arms. "I guess I was just too _eager_ to release some stress."

"It's... It's fine. D-Don't worry about it..." Akali shakily said, letting out a trembling breath.

"Hmm, I don't think a few words would suffice as an apology though." Evelynn allowed the towel to slip away from her body as she pressed herself against Akali, breathily sighing as she began to strip the blanket away from Akali's nude and hickey-covered body.

"Eve..."

"Let me repay you, Akali. With my tongue and my lips. And if you want, my fingers as well."

The freestyler nearly groaned, but she couldn't do anything but think of one thing.

"Eve, it's literally early in the morning."

"Oh come now, Akali. Don't pretend you don't like it."

Well, Evelynn surely knew what goes through Akali's mind.

Everything, but the rising suspicion within the said rapper.

**xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx**

Standing underneath the shower rain, Akali can be found contemplating alone about what's been happening for the past day and couple of hours. It _has_ been rather eventful lately, in her opinion.

Akali can't help but think about the horrific nightmare she had involving her _'usually sweet to her but bitchy to others'_ girlfriend.

Maybe she's been playing too much games involving cannibalism. The freestyler was really hoping that was the case.

Sure, Evelynn has a track record concerning her past flings and relationships, and yes, they _did_ disappear as if they were bubbles that were mercilessly popped by reality. Recalling the small list of male celebrities that went missing wasn't the wisest decision though, since it only urged on her growing paranoia, which was vastly failing in beating down.

"Damn it..."

.....

.....

.....

Hanging out at their gym area and having just finished her exercises, Akali wiped the sweat around her neck, while Kai'Sa sat beside her on one of the benches in the room. The dancer was too absorbed with the call she was involved in though. Judging by the eager tone of her voice, Akali's pretty sure Kai'Sa was talking to her own girlfriend, Sivir.

Of course the lack of interaction between the pair of band members allowed the rapper to drift her train of thought back to the idea of Evelynn being a serial killer.

And if the dream she had was any indication, then Evelynn was the brutal type of murderer.

Akali sighed, especially when she realized what she was thinking about.

Maybe exercising wasn't enough of a distraction.

.....

.....

.....

"You seem distracted."

For the past morning and early afternoon, Akali has been thinking about various scenarios how Evelynn's previous flings vanished from the face of the earth. Add that to her curiosity about Ahri's current whereabouts, all the thinking she's been doing was just giving her a headache. 

Clearly, Akali's mind was pretty occupied, until Kai'Sa abruptly took her attention.

The two of them were now at the choreographer's bedroom, where Akali was currently lounging on the foot of Kai'Sa bed, while the said dancer was in the middle of putting on some light make-up for her date with a certain pizza girl later.

"Wow, Kali," Kai'Sa continued when the rapper didn't respond right away. "did Eve blow your mind _that_ much last night?"

Upon hearing the sly tease of her friend, Akali shot Kai'Sa a look, which caused the dancer to snicker at her face.

"Funny, Bokkie. Really funny."

"And here I was thinking you won't be able to walk straight." Kai'Sa stared at her for a moment after that statement, auditing her on the bed before suddenly bursting out with laughter. "Oh my God, you can't walk straight, can you?"

.....

.....

.....!

A pillow was launched across the room and right at Kai'Sa, whose laughter became louder once she caught the flying cushion.

"_Urusai!_" Akali demanded, cheeks reddening.

"That's just rich, Rogue!" Kai'Sa wheezed out, tossing the pillow back to bed. "I didn't think you were _actually_ serious about that!"

"Kai'Sa! Just shut up!"

It took a couple of more minutes for Kai'Sa to calm her laughter, while throughout those described minutes, Akali resisted the urge to rain down a barrage of pillows towards the dancer.

"Okay, okay, I give." Kai'Sa finally said, an idle smile taking over her lips when she refocused her gaze to the slightly flustered freestyler on her bed. "So, back to my initial question. _Ahem._ What happened anyway? You've been spacing out ever since Evelynn left a few hours ago."

Akali straightened up a bit. "Wait, Eve left?"

"Yeah, she said something about taking care of some personal stuff." Kai'Sa then snapped her fingers. "Oh, and she also said she was going to get some more meat for some steamed buns since we really liked what she made."

Akali blinked at Kai'Sa, brain processing what she was just told about.

This was the exact moment the rapper's vivid imagination decided to take a wild turn and before she could even think about anything else, her mind went down the same dark path it went off to when she experienced her terrible nightmare.

"Hey, Kai?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think..." Akali stopped herself, choosing to start off differently. "I mean, where's Ahri?"

Kai'Sa shrugged. "I don't really know. She hasn't come home ever since she chased after Evelynn yesterday."

"Chased after?"

"Yeah." Kai'Sa nodded. "Wouldn't be surprised if Ahri ranted at Evelynn on her way down."

"Ahri hasn't come home, then? As in, she didn't even drop by to get some of her stuff?"

"Nope." Kai'Sa tapped her chin in contemplation. "Come to think of it, Ahri didn't even bring anything with her. Her wallet and phone probably, but other than those two, I don't really know anymore."

"She probably just ran away, right? She's alive?" Akali asked, sounding more and more anxious by the second.

"Hah?" Kai'Sa reacted in confusion. "Of course she's alive. What kind of question is that?"

"Okay, okay," Akali hopped off the bed, rushing towards her friend as quick as she was able to. "I know this might sound crazy, but...-"

"You already _look_ crazy, actually."

"_But_," Akali repeated, gesturing for Kai'Sa to just shut up and listen. "I think Evelynn did something... bad."

"What're you talking about?"

"Yesterday, Eve and Ahri were arguing, right?"

"Yeah..."

"I heard Evelynn threaten Ahri."

"Threaten how?"

"Evelynn literally told Ahri she was going to use her as stuffings for the steamed buns."

"...What?" Came a confusion-laced question.

"Eve also said in some indirect way that she'll choke Ahri." Akali finished with a serious facial expression.

"Come on, Akali. Friends like them _always_ say stuff like that. They don't really mean it."

"Isn't it too coincidental though?"

Kai'Sa sighed. "Akali, seriously?"

"Maybe we should investigate." Akali suggested, and judging from her tone, she was not joking. "We'll probably find more clues."

"You're being paranoid."

"Humor me, then."

"Alright, fine." Kai'Sa placed her lipstick down on the vanity table and crossed her arms in front of her. "How about you show me a blood stain?"

Akali blinked. "A blood stain?"

"Uh-huh. If you find a blood stain on any of Eve's things, I'll believe this crazy theory of yours."

A flicker of determination sparked inside of Akali upon hearing the offered compromise. In a flash, she was out of Kai'Sa's room, intending on checking and searching throughout the bedroom of her girlfriend.

Within the span of five to ten minutes, Akali rifled through Evelynn's belongings, which ranged from lacy underwear to not so child-friendly toys the rapper was closely acquainted with.

Last place she checked was the diva's waste bin, where she shockingly uncovered the clothes Evelynn was wearing during hers and Ahri's interview.

Red.

Literally red was all Akali could focus on.

The skirt and blouse had traces of the crimson color, and it certainly wasn't part of its fabric design. It was _clearly_ a stain.

Akali's eyes widened. _'Blood stains!'_

Her heart threatened to jump and just stop right then and there. The feeling of panic was beginning to rise within her, which prompted Akali to just scoop the bloodied clothes in her arms and bring it to the dancer to ultimately present the solid evidence she had asked for.

Akali was desperately hoping she wouldn't find anything on Evelynn, which would have banished her paranoia to oblivion, but it wasn't like that as it seems.

Ignorance is bliss, but she just couldn't let go of the possibility of her girlfriend murdering one of their beloved friends.

It was just _insane_.

"Kai'Sa! Kai'Sa!" Akali called out as she shuffled inside the room.

"Alright, Kali," Kai'Sa finished applying lipstick on her lips, capping the cosmetic she had in hand before turning to face the freestyler. "what did you find?"

"Blood stains!"

Kai'Sa nearly choked on her own spit, especially when she caught sight of the stained garments in Akali's clutches. "Holy shit!"

Akali now looked like a scared little girl, who was desperate for a response from her parent. In this case, Kai'Sa was the parent between them.

"Kai," Akali hesitantly began. "what do we do...?"

Kai'Sa blinked.

And blinked.

And blinked.

And...-!

"We have to call the cops!"

Akali's eyes widened. "What!?"

"Wait, no," Kai'Sa dug her phone from her pocket and quickly searched for Ahri's contact details. "We should call Ahri first. I'm sure this is just some prank they're pulling on the two of us."

Akali dropped the clothes on the floor and placed her ear on the other side of the phone, which Kai'Sa already has pressed against her own ear.

** _Ring! Ring! Ring!_ **

"I'm pretty sure Ahri's going to be the one that...-"

** _Ring...!_ **

"Bokkie?"

Akali and Kai'Sa's blood ran cold.

It was Evelynn.

** _Click!_ **

In Evelynn's expensive purple Lamborghini...

The diva's eyebrows furrowed in confusion when Kai'Sa abruptly ended the call, not even bothering on uttering anything.

With a simple shake of her head, Evelynn tossed Ahri's phone back to the passenger seat, where a bag of fresh meat can be found.

"Well... That was weird."

Meanwhile, back at the K/DA penthouse...

"Bokkie, no!"

"Akali!"

The swift-footed rapper snatched Kai'Sa's phone from her, stopping the dancer from actually calling the authorities this time. While Akali jumped back, Kai'Sa remained standing on her current place, glaring at the freestyler that stole her cellphone.

"Now you don't want to call the cops?" Kai'Sa asked in absolute disbelief. "Earlier, you were so convinced that Eve is a psycho murderer!"

"Do we really have to have her arrested?"

Kai'Sa gave Akali an incredulous look. "What kind of question is that!?"

"We should think about this for second."

"Akali! You've been sleeping with a killer for the past few months!"

"Maybe I can convince Eve to turn herself in. We don't...-"

"Or you'll die trying!" Kai'Sa pointed out. "It makes so much sense now!"

"What does?"

"This is exactly why the men in Eve's life always disappear! She _kills_ them!"

"Maybe I can talk to her, Kai. Come on! Give her a chance to do the right thing."

"Yeah, sure, that's what Ahri did. Look where she is now, Kali! Evelynn's probably chopping her up now!"

Akali shuddered, briefly recalling her nightmare. "She's... She's not like that! She _can't_ be like that."

"Why are we even discussing this? Y'know what, fine! If you want to stay here until she gets back, be my guest. But me? No, no, no, I'm leaving."

"Kai, don't call the police." Akali pleaded once the choreographer snatched her phone back.

"I won't." Kai'Sa conceded, heading to her closet and beginning to pack some clothes. "But don't you _dare _haunt me if she kills you."

"She wouldn't do that... would she?"

Kai'Sa shook her head at her, slinging her overnight bag's strap over her shoulder once she finished packing. She took Akali's phone on her bed and tossed it to the rapper, who caught it rather clumsily.

"If I were you and if Evelynn really is what we think she is, I'd call the cops and leave. _Immediately_."

"But, Kai'Sa...-!"

"Akali, I'm gonna give you two choices, so please, please, _please_, choose wisely."

Akali gulped as she met Kai'Sa's intense gaze, which was filled with seriousness like no other.

"Booty or moral duty?"

**xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx**

"Darling, are you alright?"

Akali, whose gaze was absently fixated on the kitchen island, whipped her head up, immediately meeting those amber-hued irises of the diva. They were filled with warmth and unmistakable concern, and it honestly came close in making her forget about her internal dilemma.

"I'm fine..."

"Why don't I believe that?"

"For reals, Eve, I'm good."

"Hmm... Alright then, if you say so."

Akali internally released a sigh of relief, absolutely thankful that Evelynn didn't seem to suspect anything off about her.

"Where's Kai'Sa by the way?" Evelynn asked, obviously noticing the lack of presence of one of their bandmates.

"She said she'll be staying over at Sivir's for now."

"Really?" How nice to finally hear some progress about their relationship." Evelynn said as she unpacked the food she had ordered for them. "It's about time she gets a slice of that pizza, if you know what I mean."

Akali flashed a half-feigned grin at Evelynn, who made the effort to look over her shoulder just to wink at her. The more Akali continued conversing and bonding with Evelynn, the more she couldn't believe that this woman was a serial killer.

Evelynn was always so selfless towards them, most especially to Akali. She always made sure the rapper was entirely comfortable with everything and pampered endlessly.

It truly was hard to believe.

Evelynn, her overly sweet, extremely caring and exceptionally gorgeous lover, was a homicidal maniac.

Damn.

"Hey, Eve?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it... okay if we just cuddle for tonight? My body's still pretty sore from last night."

Like what Akali predicted, Evelynn smiled and fulfilled her request with a nod and a simple reply.

"Of course, darling."

Later that night, they were on the siren's bed, legs tangled with each other and arms wrapped around one another underneath the warm blanket.

Despite of the knowledge of Evelynn's true dark nature, the good memories she made with the singer fleeted in her mind and refused to let her believe that the woman was a vile slaughterer. Akali kept her arms tightly wrapped around her slumbering lover, who she knew probably butchered their friend into pieces.

Akali needed to choose though. Kai'Sa already gave her the choices, she just needed to decide which one.

_'Tomorrow... I'll decide tomorrow. And when I do...'_

Akali's clutch around Evelynn tightened.

_'...I hope I don't regret it.'_

**xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx**

Around half past ten o'clock in the morning, Evelynn can already be found bringing in the ingredients she recently brought from the supermarket.

Akali had mentioned to her that she wanted to try various types of food from all over the world, delicacies included. Even though Kai'Sa is the official chef in their group, Evelynn was quite determined in using most of her free time in attempting to learn and whip up different kinds of food, normal and bizarre.

For today, Evelynn intended to make some Blood Stew and Sausages.

Even the diva herself couldn't believe that people actually found a way to use an animal's blood for actual dishes. Oh well, as long as her darling Rogue was happy, right?

After her little trip from the market, Evelynn was able to buy all the needed ingredients for the food she had in mind, which would explain why there were five bottles of pig's blood now in display on the kitchen island.

It took a few minutes and after the said time, Evelynn still couldn't find the corkscrew. As much as such tool would be more convenient, she decided to settle with a serrated knife she found in one of the drawers. She read in a magazine once how it's possible to use a knife to open a cork-sealed bottle.

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** _Crash!_ **

"Shit." Evelynn muttered under her breath, left hand now stained with a fair amount of pig's blood. Heck, even a couple of parts of her legs were sporting a few red streaks here and there due to the bottle's impact on the floor.

She may have succeeded in removing the cork, but the bottle slipped from her grasp and had spilled on her hand before it fell on the floor. Thankfully though, Evelynn was unharmed.

Muffled footsteps could be heard form upstairs, which notified Evelynn that she had probably woken Akali with the ruckus she had caused. She had just sighed in self-annoyance when she suddenly heard three sequential knocks from the front door.

Choosing to answer the door first, Evelynn stepped around the puddle of blood that was gradually spilling out of the kitchen.

Evelynn not only shook her head at the sight of the mess she made, but she also released a low disgusted sound when she realized that her white shirt was an unfortunate victim to her little error.

God, she looked like a crazed murderer right now.

When she reached for the door knob of the front door, her hand suddenly halted, especially when she saw its bloodied state.

The knife, which she was apparently still holding, was passed to her blood-sullied hand before the much cleaner and recently vacated one turned the knob.

Meanwhile, at the other side of the mentioned door, Kai'Sa can be found standing there with Sivir, both women donning casual yet fashionable attires.

"Thanks for coming with me, Siv." Kai'Sa said, turning halfway to face her companion after knocking.

Sivir smiled. "No problem. If Evelynn is really a killer though, why didn't you just call the police?"

"Well, I kinda promised Akali I wouldn't do that..."

"That doesn't exactly make her any less dangerous." Sivir pointed out, twirling her phone with one hand before raising it up and showing her father's contact number. "You know we could just calmly father's security team and...-"

The front door clicked before it was pulled open by none other than...

...a _bloodied_ Evelynn.

"Bokkie? Sivir?"

Kai'Sa gasped in horror, while Sivir momentarily gaped. The dancer was speechless, especially when she noticed the puddle of blood ever so slowly spilling out from the kitchen floor.

"You... You killed Akali..." Kai'Sa could only breathe out in terror and absolute disbelief.

"What? No!" Evelynn may have been caught off-guard and was highly confused by the question, but she was quick to deny and defend herself. "All this blood is just...-agh!"

Evelynn gasped in pain when Sivir suddenly punched her on her left breast, causing her to stumble a step back and cradle her bust with her free hand.

"What the hell...-!"

Once again, Evelynn didn't manage to finish, for Akali abruptly dashed from behind her, having just reaching the bottom of the stairs, and tackled her forward and down the ground. The diva could only yelp before she and her paranoid lover crashed down the floor, which prompted the other couple to take a husky step back to avoid being brought down with them.

"I'm calling my father!" Sivir said, already dealing Azir's phone number while she pulled Kai'Sa a few more steps away from the struggling duo on the ground.

"Akali!?" Kai'Sa reacted in shock, barely dodging the knife that skidded across the floor.

Akali wound her arms around Evelynn's neck until she got the woman in a chokehold, straddling the vocalist on the back as she did. The rapper pursed her lips out of absolute guilt, while tears welled in the corners of her eyes as she started suffocating her beloved.

"K-K-Kali...!" Evelynn sputtered out, tapping one of her hands on the floor, while her blood-stained hand futilely attempted removing Akali's iron grip around her neck. 

"I'm really sorry, Eve! I'm really sorry!" Akali grunted, tears of guilt threatening to fall. "But... But... I can't let you kill any more people! I...! I just can't! _Gomenasai!_"

"W-What...!? K-K-K-Kali...!"

Akali could feel her heart suffer wave after wave of emotional pain as she continued depriving Evelynn the oxygen she desperately needed at that very mome...-!

** _Ding!_ **

"Oh my God!" Came _Ahri's_ voice, which was followed by consecutive footsteps. "Evelynn!"

"Ahri!?" Akali and Kai'Sa chorused in total shock, taken completely aback by the fact that she was _right there_, living and breathing.

"Wait, I thought you said she was dead!" Sivir told Kai'Sa, gesturing at Ahri, who looked quite alive and healthy, for a moment.

""For God's sake, Akali, let go of Evelynn!" Ahri shouted, while her partner, Sona, rushed towards the pair on the floor. "She's about to pass out!"

Akali's eyes widened when everything dawned on her, and her arms quickly reacted and obeyed Ahri's command. Evelynn loudly gasped for air before she started coughing repeatedly. Beside them, Soon shooed Akali away, and once the freestyler was off the diva, she finally managed to assist Evelynn's poor assaulted self.

"Wait, how are you alive?" Akali questioned Ahri with an incredulous look, her question seemingly baffling Ahri. "Didn't Eve kill you?"

"What? No! What the hell are you talking about?"

"Your phone was with her!" Kai'Sa brought up.

"That's because I left it at her car!"

"Where were you for the past few days, then?"

"I was at Sona's!"

"But... There were blood stains! We saw them on her clothes from the other day!"

"That..." All eyes turned to Evelynn, who was being assisted by Son as she stood up. "That was... nail polish..."

Akali blinked, her urge to cry completely vanishing. "Nail polish?"

Evelynn weakly nodded, her clean hand loosely grasping her neck. "_Red_... nail polish..."

Cue awkward silence.

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.....

The whole group was still engulfed by this tension-filled silence. Out of all of them, Sivir seemed to be the only one that was brave enough to make the first move.

The delivery girl decided to wordlessly excuse herself and Kai'Sa, escorting the choreographer back to the elevator while murmuring about how she was thankful Evelynn has a bountiful bosom and that its size was more than enough to stop her fist from completely striking the diva's heart.

"That's... That's animal blood, isn't it?" Akali asked, hesitance lacing her feebly-uttered question.

Evelynn shot her a critical look. "What... do you... think? Hmm?" 

Akali gulped and lowered her head, unable to look straight at her furious lover.

Evelynn approached Ahri with Sona's help, grasping the FOXY model's arm as she gritted out, "Take me to Elise's."

"Hah?"

"I think it's _my_ turn to disappear."

Instead of asking any further questions or attempting in convincing her otherwise, Ahri merely nodded and ushered Sona to guide Evelynn to one of the elevators. Once the diva passed the blonde, the latter turned to Akali, who looked back at her with an expression mixed with guilt and embarrassment.

"She's mad at me, isn't she?"

"Oh, she's _furious_."

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One back-and-forth car ride later...

Ahri sighed as she finally dropped her keys in a glass bowl near the front door of their penthouse. She scanned her surroundings for a moment before she made her way to the kitchen, where she found Akali cleaning the spilled animal blood.

Based from the look of it, Akali had already removed the shards of glass and was already more than halfway done in wiping away the remnants of pig blood with water, soap and a ton of bleach.

Akali snapped her head upward once she saw Ahri enter her peripherals. Worry was quick to genuinely show on her face, concern mainly for the diva that requested to be taken away earlier.

Once their gazes met, Ahri sighed and shook her head. "Akali... Why?"

The young artist nearly curled up in response. "_Gomen_..."

"Why did you even _think_ Evelynn killed me?"

Out of absolute guilt yet again, Akali bowed her head. "You two were fighting, and I had a nightmare about Evelynn killing someone...-"

"Wait a second, a nightmare?"

Akali flinched. "I know, I know, it sounds stupid and...-"

"This all started because of a _nightmare_?"

Mutely, Akali nodded, earning a deep sigh from Ahri.

"Well, I hope you have a lot of blankets, 'cause I don't think Eve has any plans in coming back here to warm your bed anytime soon."

"Eh?" Akali reacted in utter disappointment, and most of all, sadness. "Why?"

"Umm, Akali, you literally tried _choking_ her earlier."

"But that was an accident! It was a misunderstanding!"

"Eve's really hurt that you doubted her. That, and she said she's angry at you because you choked her without permission." Ahri then shuddered. "I honestly did _not_ need to know that."

"Where is she gonna stay, then?"

Ahri nodded over her shoulder. "At Elise's apartment."

"Elise's!?"

Was the Elise woman Evelynn, who's _super_ angry with her right now, intends on staying with the same one that's said to be extremely hot and feisty and also described to be a vivacious athlete?

Hell to the fucking no!

"Why there?" She asked in a somewhat whine-like manner.

"Hey, at least it's nearby."

"Nearby? It's an hour and a half away from here!"

Ahri half-heartedly narrowed her eyes. "I don't think you have the right to complain, y'know. I mean, you _did_ accuse her in being a murderer. That, and like what she said, you choked her without permission.

The freestyler's lips parted to utter more retorts and maybe excuses, but none were said. She was out of words to say, and she knew she just had to accept the fact that she Evelynn won't be cuddling, let alone talk, with her anytime soon.

Akali could only groan at the predicament she had put herself in.

Maybe she should call one of her friends or cousins.

Shen and Kennen would probably be able to lend her a hand with this.

**xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx**

"You almost died?" Both athletes, Elise and Zyra, asked the popstar in unison.

Evelynn, who was comfortably settled on one of the couches in the living room and was already dressed in a tank top and a pair of shorts that originally belongs to Elise, hummed and nodded. She murmured her thanks to Zyra, who offered her a fresh set of clothes before the two settled on the other loveseat.

"I was punched on the boob, tackled down the floor and choked by my supposedly sweet, little Rogue out of the bedroom." The diva sighed somewhat deeply. "It's horrible, honestly."

Zyra, who was casually snuggled against Elise, exchanged looks with the obsidian-haired woman before asking, "Outside the bedroom?"

Evelynn narrowed her eyes. "My sex life isn't the subject here, please focus."

Elise rolled her eyes. "Sure, how about we focus on how you're barging in on mine and Zyra's time, which we hardly even get."

"Oh come now, Elise. You and Zyra see each other every month."

"Exactly!" Elise lowly snarled. "And _now_, you're intruding on us because you're too proud and extra to just lock yourself up in your own room in the penthouse!"

"Isn't this what friends are for?"

"Not when you're cock-blocking me like this!"

Evelynn sarcastically smiled at her friend and was just about to give a smug remark when suddenly, they heard music playing from outside.

The couple in front of her started looking around, trying to search for what sounded like a muffled soundtrack being played somewhere in their surroundings.

"I.. think it's coming from outside." Zyra said, abandoning Elise at the couch and heading towards the window, where she then spotted the source of music. "Eve, you might want to come over here."

For a second, Evelynn's eyebrows furrowed in confusion before standing up and approaching Zyra, joining her at the window and peeking through the clear glass to see what the fuss was all about.

Well...

The sight before her was literally in the middle of amusing and adorable.

Outside, Akali was standing at the sidewalk, arms raised and hands holding up the Bluetooth speaker Evelynn had bought her a few weeks ago. It seems like the music was coming from the mentioned piece of tech.

Half-heartedly rolling her eyes, Evelynn sighed, unlocked the window and pushed it open. She peered outside, the lyrics of the song reaching her ears with crystal clarity.

** _Is you is or is you ain't, my baby_ **

** _The way you're acting lately makes me doubt_ **

** _You is still my baby, baby_ **

** _Seems my flame in your heart's done gone out_ **

Evelynn looked at Akali that clearly asked her if she was serious with the song. "Really? Out of all songs?"

Akali pouted, but still didn't lower the speaker or the volume down. "I'm really sorry, Eve! Please come back home!"

Beside Evelynn, Elise was now standing along with her and Zyra, seemingly amused with the display the rapper of K/DA was showing in that very moment. The inky-haired woman nudged the diva, taking pity on not only Akali's method of apologizing, but also her choice of music.

"I suggest you go downstairs and meet her before any of my neighbours complain."

Evelynn glanced between her friend and her pleading lover before lightly groaning.

"Fine."

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"Alright," Evelynn started as she walked out of the three-storey apartment building, wearing nothing but the casual attire Elise had allowed her to borrow. "give me the speaker. Now."

Akali, who already decreased the volume of the music, took a step towards Evelynn and feebly handed the said gadget to the vocalist, whose hand was outstretched and was waiting for the speaker to be turned over.

"Eve, I'm really sorry for what I did."

"First of all, I am appalled that you thought that _this_ song," Evelynn started, shaking the speaker at her for moment. "would be able to woo me. Second, did you really think I'd forgive you that easily?"

"Eh? Umm..." Akali lowered her gaze, scruffing the tip of her shoe on the pavement. "I was hoping you would..."

"You literally accused me in murdering Ahri."

"It was a _misunderstanding_! I'm sorry!"

"You went through my things."

"Again, I'm sorry!"

"You tackled me on the floor."

"Okay, that was probably unnecessa...-"

"Probably?"

"_Totally_ unnecessary, I mean.

"You also choked me." Evelynn briefly pointed the speaker at her. "Very hard, if you ask me."

Akali visibly deflated in front of her. "What do you want me to do, then? I really am sorry, Eve. I...-"

"Woo me."

The rapper blinked. "W-Woo you?"

"Mm-hm. Win my heart back and you win _this_," Evelynn turned around halfway and presented her short-covered butt at Akali. "booty back."

And with that, the diva strutted back to the apartment building.

"W-W-W-Wait! How am I gonna win you back?"

"Figure it out, darling."

"H-Hey! Wait, that's my speaker!"

Evelynn shook her head, not even bothering in looking over her shoulder as she raised the speaker up for a moment.

"I bought it for you, therefore, it's technically mine."

Last thing Akali saw was the swaying hips and the desirable derrière that she desperately needed to get back.

**xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx xxxxx**

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Note: Well, here it is, an attempted K/DA comedy mainly starring the Akalynn ship. :P (And yes, this story has a second part, which will show how Akali's efforts in winning Evelynn back and convincing her to come home)
> 
> This idea was originally given by my big sister, who was just casually throwing prompts my way and long story short, this is what she inspired me in doing! She was also the one who gave the "Booty or moral duty?" question, which I laughed so hard at. xD
> 
> We just finished moving, soooo, I have a lot of time in writing once we get settled completely! For now, looks like you readers will have to wait for my updates in my other stories and hopefully, more decent written one-shots from yours truly. ^^
> 
> I've been spamming my one-shots book in FanFiction and Wattpad with K/DA stuff, and I honestly need to stop (I think xD). Blame the amazing fan arts and cosplays, please, not me. xD (The Akali x Evelynn arts and cosplays are just too inspirational and hell of a giver of motivation for me xD)
> 
> Anyway, for those who want to see more League one-shots (mainly ones that involve other champions, check out my FanFiction or Wattpad profiles, where you'll all find my book of one-shots! I'll try to transfer some of them here, but there's already a lot, so probably soon, yeah? ^^
> 
> Till my next update, my peeps! ^3^


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